Who are you protecting?

Who is threatened by your success? Who gets scared when you let yourself shine? Do you crawl back in your box when you see the frightened look on their face?

Intellectually, we know that we are not doing anyone any favors by protecting people. That you would hold yourself back for another person to feel safe is obviously not good for either person. You need to break free, and they need to be pushed out of their comfort zone. It is pop psychology and common sense.

So why do we keep protecting other people? It is an emotional issue and it usually goes really deep. The primary charge probably occurred in childhood. It is usually from an insecure parent being threatened by the beauty of your being. When you were young, you needed the acceptance of your parent(s) for survival. The risk of being awesome and beautiful was too high. So you molded yourself into something that was palatable for your parent(s) and the rest of your family. You learned to fit in. You learned to not rock the boat.

But you are not a child anymore. You are not reliant on your parent for survival. They may not even be alive anymore. It is just a habit or behavioral pattern now. You may have replaced your insecure parent with a new family member- or a boss or friend. So now when you shine or get ready to break free- it is them that becomes frightened.

So we crawl back in our box for them. All is well in Camelot again. Our relationship might not be able to handle it. It's not that big a deal to stifle our passion. We can tell ourselves our dreams are not that important. We could be happy and free. But as long as everyone feels safe and comfortable- it'll be alright.

Until it's not.

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