The vastness of reality

I have been observing myself. It is the perfect time of year for introspection after all. There are times when I will make assumptions about how things are or what someone intended. I then make a decision or series of decisions based on that. Or I'll create these rules that disallow me from doing something, or that make a simple thing so much harder. At some point I look back and see that I limited myself by reacting to things that I contrived. They never were real.

I am starting to think that this is one of the ways that I manage the vastness of reality- that place were all things are possible. Perhaps part of me still doubts that I will be able to mange the vastness. So I indulge myself to be in a cranky mood- not willing to open, not allowing things in.

When I am open and allow things in, I am able to manage the vastness of reality. I see possibilities. Ideas come to me. My instincts are alive. I am able to trust myself. I take in all the information and make excellent decisions.

So I am starting to realize how important it is to be open- to embrace what is around me and to allow the experience in.

Why is it that I do not walk that way all the time? I suppose I indulge my anger, negativity, and fear. Something is not presenting itself the way that I feel it should be. I get even with life by shutting myself off from it and making assumptions about how things are. I'll show it.

And then it shows me.

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