The illusion of control

We have serious control issues. Why is it that we try to control everything? It's how we manage our fears. All control is fear-based. We try to control the things that we are afraid of. It helps us feel safe.

But does it really work? Maybe for a while. We are usually able to find someone that allows us to control them. Or we tell ourselves a story that we are in control. We even delude ourselves into thinking we can control nature- until some major natural disaster comes along. It shows our sense of control to be the illusion that it is. It can be taken away at any time. It is not real.

Besides hurricanes, how can our sense of control get taken away? The current economy is an example of that. Many people had their sense of financial security and control taken away. Our sense of control with other people stays in place only as long as someone is willing to give us control. As soon as one person gets tired of playing the game, the game ends. And with it goes our sense of control. It never was real. I think that is why we feel so insecure. Our sense of security is built on all these illusions of control- a veritable house of cards.

So how do we find a real security? Something we can count on. It has to be based on things that our real. But the things that are real tend to be a little scary. Things like: life is short and precious. And: you never really know what is going to happen. Or more recently: my job or career might suddenly come to an end.

In order to navigate life on life's terms, we have to "believe in our survivability". We have to believe that even though we cannot control life, we can manage and survive what comes our way. Our life should be a testament to that.

We have to believe in ourselves. Trust ourselves. That kind of security can never be taken away.

9 comments (Add your own)

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