The fragility of a new habit

My counseling style has never lent itself well to ending a session at a specific time. I naturally want to continue the session until it feels complete. Sometimes that's after 45 minutes, and sometimes it's an hour and 15 minutes. This works fine when I schedule my own appointments and schedule time between appointments. But my current day job books appointments on the hour.

So today I set an intention to end my session at 15 minutes before the hour. Then I can chart my note and take a short break. I started out great- I ended my first session at 8:47.  I completed my note, made a cup of tea, and met my second patient at 9 o'clock sharp. The second session was also timely. And the third. I was on a roll. Why was I having so much trouble with this?

But after lunch, I had a set-back. A phone call caused me to start the 2:00 session 10 minutes late. At 3:00, my 3 o'clock client had not checked in yet and besides I started late- so I figured I could go a little over with my 2 o'clock client. We were getting amazing work done and the session ended at 3:20. Then I found out... the 3 o'clock client had arrived- but the front desk did not page me. The client was not pleased.

I was doing closure on the way home. A negative voice emerged,  “Clearly this is not going to work. I am just not cut out to end my sessions on time."  This went on for a while and soon I was convinced to scrap my new program.  So I reviewed. I ended four appointments on time and failed miserably on one.

When creating a new habit, these results are fairly typical. Two steps forward and one step back. Yet how many times in our lives do we throw in the towel on a program the first time we experience a set-back?

My mantra for tomorrow is to just keep going.  If I get sucked in to going over, I will brush myself off and give the next session my best shot.

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