Take it back

Only you can devalue your self-worth. Others may demean or disrespect you. They may take advantage of you or even abuse you. But it only you can relinquish your self-worth to them. It is, after all, self-worth. It is the extent that you value your-self. Yet we allow others talk us out of it all the time.

Say a child grows up in a dysfunctional family. Her alcoholic father tells her she is a piece of crap and will never amount to anything. He does this every day for years. At some point, she begins to believe it. It is only when she believes it that her self-worth plummets.

This is understandable in abused children. They are victims. But as adults, we tend to the same thing. We allow a demeaning significant other, critical supervisor, or abusive family member tell us we are worthless- over and over again.

We say to ourselves, "The economy is bad and I need this job." Or, "If I dump this guy, maybe no one else will go out with me."  Or the classic, "You only get one set of parents." Whichever variation, we feel compromised and tell ourselves we have to take it. The day in and day out abuse wears us down- until we give in and believe them.

But you don't have to. Your self-worth is up for grabs every time you interact. But, if you don't claim it, chances are, someone else will.  Unfortunately, there is often someone more than happy to tell you how you are and how little you are worth- in a desperate attempt to elevate themselves.

So... take it back. And keep your self-worth intact when you interact people that would devalue you. They don't deserve your ear.

Save being influenced and counseled for those precious few that are strong enough to uplift you.


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