Letting go of control

Ever notice yourself trying to control something or someone? When we control things, we short-change ourselves; we force an experience to be what we are comfortable with. Or we control a person to be less threatening to us. Most times the experience could have been much more rich and beautiful if we would have had the courage to allow it unfold.

Why do we control things? It's how we manage our fears. Control is always fear-based. We try to control the things that we are afraid of. It helps us maintain the illusion of feeling safe (see previous blog: The illusion of control).

The fact that control is fear-based suggests a way to let go of control. Like any behavioral pattern, changing it begins with being aware that you are trying to control something. You have see yourself doing it or about to do it. This gives you the power to change it.

Next time you observe yourself trying to control something or someone- simply ask yourself, "What am I afraid of." I guarantee there is a fear lurking beneath your wanting to control the situation. You are likely trying to control the situation in a way that allows you to avoid the thing you are afraid will happen. (Fear is future-oriented.)

Once you identify the fear, you can address it directly. You can challenge the likelihood that this terrible thing is actually going to happen. This helps take the teeth out of your fear (like the Abominable Snowman). You can take a deep breath, believe in your survivability, and walk through your fear. A natural and easy way to do this is to simply cease controlling the situation you are in and allow it to unfold.

You may find something far more rich and beautiful than you ever could have contrived. It is exciting. It is not limited by your assumptions and preconceptions. And... you feel alive.

21 comments (Add your own)

1. Mini Binder Clips wrote:
you're really a good webmaster. The web site loading speed is amazing. It seems that you're doing any distinctive trick. In addition, The contents are masterpiece. you've done a fantastic task on this subject!

Sun, February 12, 2012 @ 11:45 PM

2. wrote:
Genuinely no matter if someone doesn't understand after that its up to other viewers that they
will assist, so here it happens.

Thu, October 4, 2018 @ 6:37 PM

3. wrote:
I think that everything posted was actually very reasonable.
But, think about this, suppose you added a little
content? I ain't saying your information is not good, but
what if you added a title to maybe get a person's attention? I mean lathamandcompany | Letting
go of control is a little boring. You ought to peek at Yahoo's home page and note how they create post titles to
get people to click. You might add a related video or
a related pic or two to grab readers interested about what you've got to say.
In my opinion, it would make your posts a little livelier.

Thu, October 4, 2018 @ 9:09 PM

4. wrote:
I believe that is one of the such a lot significant information for me.
And i am satisfied reading your article. But want to commentary
on few common issues, The site taste is perfect, the articles is truly great :
D. Excellent process, cheers

Sat, October 6, 2018 @ 10:58 PM

5. wrote:
Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wished to say that I've truly enjoyed surfing
around your blog posts. After all I'll be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again very soon!

Mon, October 8, 2018 @ 4:21 AM

6. wrote:
Aw, this was a really nice post. Taking a
few minutes and actual effort to create a good article…
but what can I say… I procrastinate a whole lot and don't seem to get nearly anything done.

Mon, October 8, 2018 @ 4:55 AM

7. wrote:
Can I simply say what a relief to discover a person that actually knows what they are talking about on the internet.
You actually understand how to bring a problem
to light and make it important. More people should look at this and understand this
side of your story. It's surprising you aren't more popular since you definitely have the gift.

Sun, November 4, 2018 @ 2:01 AM

8. wrote:
Sling tv coupons and promo codes for november 2018
Very descriptive post, I loved that a lot. Will there be a part 2?

Sling tv coupons and promo codes for november 2018

Sat, November 17, 2018 @ 5:23 AM

9. wrote:
I was able to find good information from your articles.

Sat, November 17, 2018 @ 7:52 AM

10. wrote:
With havin so much content and articles do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright infringement?
My blog has a lot of completely unique content I've either
authored myself or outsourced but it looks like a lot of it is popping it up
all over the internet without my authorization. Do you know any techniques to help protect against content from
being ripped off? I'd certainly appreciate it.

Wed, April 3, 2019 @ 4:45 PM

11. wrote:
Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you writing this post and also the rest of the website is really good.

Wed, April 3, 2019 @ 11:18 PM

12. wrote:
Greetings from Los angeles! I'm bored at work so I decided to check out your site on my
iphone during lunch break. I really like the info you present here
and can't wait to take a look when I get home. I'm shocked at how
fast your blog loaded on my cell phone .. I'm not even using WIFI, just 3G ..

Anyways, amazing site!

Fri, April 19, 2019 @ 7:50 AM

13. wrote:
Wow! After all I got a weblog from where I know how to truly get useful data regarding my study and
knowledge.

Mon, April 22, 2019 @ 12:01 AM

14. wrote:
You should take part in a contest for one of the best websites
online. I will recommend this website!

Thu, May 2, 2019 @ 6:45 PM

15. wrote:
Why visitors still use to read news papers when in this technological world the whole thing is accessible on net?

Sat, May 18, 2019 @ 2:46 AM

16. wrote:
Hello there I am so thrilled I found your blog page, I really found you by
accident, while I was looking on Aol for something else, Regardless
I am here now and would just like to say thanks a
lot for a marvelous post and a all round enjoyable blog (I also love the theme/design), I don't have
time to look over it all at the minute but I have bookmarked
it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot
more, Please do keep up the excellent work.

Wed, July 17, 2019 @ 2:03 AM

17. wrote:
Hmm is anyone else experiencing problems with the pictures on this blog loading?
I'm trying to find out if its a problem on my end or
if it's the blog. Any responses would be greatly appreciated.

Tue, July 23, 2019 @ 10:52 PM

18. wrote:
Hi there, I discovered your web site by the use of Google at the same time as searching for a similar matter, your site came up, it appears
great. I've bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
Hi there, just turned into alert to your weblog thru Google, and found
that it's really informative. I am gonna be careful for brussels.
I will be grateful if you happen to continue this
in future. Numerous folks shall be benefited from your writing.
Cheers! plenty of fish natalielise

Thu, August 1, 2019 @ 8:33 AM

19. wrote:
I need to to thank you for this very good read!!
I absolutely loved every bit of it. I have you saved as a favorite to look at new
things you post…

Mon, September 16, 2019 @ 9:07 AM

20. wrote:
I like the valuable info you provide in your articles.
I will bookmark your weblog and check again here frequently.
I'm quite certain I will learn lots of new stuff right
here! Best of luck for the next!

Wed, September 25, 2019 @ 9:39 AM

21. wrote:
Hi to every one, the contents present at this website are actually awesome for people
experience, well, keep up the nice work fellows.

Wed, October 9, 2019 @ 8:31 AM

Add a New Comment


code
 

Comment Guidelines: No HTML is allowed. Off-topic or inappropriate comments will be edited or deleted. Thanks.