Keeping yourself intact

“I care too much about myself to allow you to treat me that way.” This is the phrase that I have domestic violence victims internalize. Many self-development books and philosophies encourage you to open your heart. Find intimacy, take emotional risks, allow yourself to be vulnerable, let your defenses down, etc.  But few talk about keeping yourself intact while you do this.

Keeping yourself intact allows you to take intelligent emotional risks. Opening your self up to someone that does not value the beauty of your heart is setting yourself up to be hurt.  If someone does not honor the preciousness of your heart, they do not deserve your open heart.

Discernment allows you to evaluate if it is wise to open your heart to a person or experience. It is still a risk to open your heart to someone who will likely be gentle with it. You will still feel vulnerable. Discernment merely increases your odds that your open heart will be treated well. Can they handle emotional intensity? Are they critical? Do they gossip?

Or... are they strong enough to be gentle?

Until you find the strength to stop someone from mistreating your heart, it may not be wise to open it. The number one thing to do if someone is mistreating your heart ( a.k.a. emotionally abusing you) is to stop the abuse. You can stop it directly by saying, "Don't go there", or indirectly by leaving. But make sure it stops. Shame on them the first time they abuse you- that is the risk you take when you share yourself. But shame on you for allowing it to continue.

It all gets down to how much you value the beauty of your heart.

11 comments (Add your own)

1. Kerriann wrote:
Haha. I woke up down today. You've chereed me up!

Mon, January 16, 2012 @ 5:37 AM

2. Get Laid In Las Vegas wrote:
I just wanted to type a remark to be able to appreciate you for some of the stunning items you are showing at this website. My incredibly long internet lookup has at the end been compensated with extremely good concept to go over with my family and friends. I would mention that most of us site visitors actually are quite endowed to dwell in a notable site with very many wonderful professionals with beneficial tactics. I feel quite privileged to have seen your entire web pages and look forward to so many more pleasurable moments reading here. Thank you once more for everything.

Mon, February 6, 2012 @ 11:52 PM

3. douglas wrote:
Love the blog

Sat, February 18, 2012 @ 7:23 AM

4. betfair atm wrote:
Of course, what a fantastic website and revealing posts, I definitely will bookmark your site.Best Regards!

Thu, March 8, 2012 @ 1:01 PM

5. bookie buster download wrote:
I'm still learning from you, as I'm improving myself. I certainly love reading all that is posted on your website.Keep the stories coming. I enjoyed it!

Fri, March 9, 2012 @ 4:04 AM

6. michaels place lay formula wrote:
My wife and i were very lucky Louis managed to finish off his researching through your ideas he was given using your site. It's not at all simplistic just to happen to be releasing key points which usually a number of people might have been selling. We really recognize we have the website owner to appreciate because of that. The type of explanations you have made, the straightforward website menu, the relationships you make it possible to engender - it's mostly fantastic, and it is helping our son and us imagine that this subject matter is amusing, and that's tremendously fundamental. Thank you for the whole thing!

Sun, March 11, 2012 @ 12:00 AM

7. diencephalon wrote:
Thanks for your write-up on this site. From my personal experience, there are occassions when softening upwards a photograph may well provide the professional photographer with a little an inventive flare. Many times however, the soft clouds isn't precisely what you had at heart and can often times spoil an otherwise good photograph, especially if you consider enlarging that.

Tue, March 13, 2012 @ 12:49 PM

8. christian louboutin men high top sneakers wrote:
I gotta bookmark this website it seems very beneficial handy

Sat, July 14, 2012 @ 12:17 AM

9. BUY WOW GOLD wrote:
These buy wow gold would you awesome!! I purchased them and possess the coloration and the ease and comfort!! I possess a numerous buy wow gold and these are typically my favored by drastically!! I'm buying additional personally for my birthday!!!!

Sat, September 22, 2012 @ 6:17 PM

10. Autres Maillot equipe Nationale wrote:
I'm sure explore thanks to what you are about, but nonetheless , thanks to exactly who I am just lake in the morning on hand. [url=http://www.fr-marque.fr/maillot-equipe-nationale.html/]Autres Maillot equipe Nationale[/url] Autres Maillot equipe Nationale

Tue, November 13, 2012 @ 2:20 PM

11. code la redoute wrote:
http://www.ruefr.com/nike pas cher chine

Fri, December 14, 2012 @ 4:58 AM

Add a New Comment


code
 

Comment Guidelines: No HTML is allowed. Off-topic or inappropriate comments will be edited or deleted. Thanks.