Keep the lines of communication open with your child

The most important thing to do as a parent is to keep the lines of communication open with your child.

When lines of communication are broken, it is usually due to the parent not wanting to know what is going on with the child. If they knew, the parent would have to think and reevaluate. It is easier to stay ignorant.

Dysfunctional families demand loyalty from their children. This is why some parents do not want to know what is going on in their child's world; they are too busy making sure that the child is loyal to their world. When the child goes to school, they see that the rest of the world is not like their parents' world. This creates a conflict as the child has to be one way with their family and another way with their friends.

But the child cannot continue this dual life for very long and ultimately has to choose a world to identify with. Since the parent has not kept the lines of communication open, the child's needs are not being met by the family. Therefore, they usually choose their friends' world. The child then feels like he or she has betrayed the family.

Healthy families are flexible. The parent(s) keep the lines of communication open. The family evolves as the personalities of the children develop. The parent(s) have to continually reevaluate what is best for everyone in the family. This requires courage and adaptability. What the family is about stays the same, but the form it takes is ever changing.

So parents ultimately have to decide. Do you demand your child to reside in your world? Or, are you willing to explore and embrace your child's world?

7 comments (Add your own)

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Wed, December 7, 2011 @ 2:32 PM

2. Mini Binder Clips wrote:
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Sun, February 12, 2012 @ 10:22 PM

3. Yasmin wrote:
It depends on the slhcoos and on the kids, and I would go and interview and observe any slhcoos you are considering. My eldest would had some early learning issues which might have benefited from being homeschooled, except that she was compulsively social and would have absolutely hated not having kids around most of the day. I ended up doing a lot of tutoring until she was up to par, but kept her in formal school systems. As to the public private thing, I have tried both public and private slhcoos. In some places the public slhcoos were better than the private ones; in others it was the reverse. I am myself Catholic and I tithe, so that the local Catholic school system is free to me, but there was a time when I sent one kid to the Catholic school, and the other to nonreligious private school. (The local public slhcoos at that time and place were bad in all respects.) The secular private school was more academically challenging but had a problem with drugs and alcohol. My risk taker therefore got sent to the Catholic school, my cautious kid to the other.

Fri, March 16, 2012 @ 6:05 PM

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5. wrote:
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Tue, May 28, 2019 @ 10:18 PM

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