Her only sin was to like me

Ever wonder why we go for the people who are cool and not interested in us? And why we push away the nice people (with substance)- who obviously like us?

OK, sometimes the emotionally available people that like you do come on a bit strong and desperate. And it is natural to pull away from who someone is pursuing you. They might be clingy and needy, and besides- they are practically stalking you.

But methinks there is more going on... I think it brings up our fear of getting close. It is kind of ironic. You say how you want a sweet guy (or gal) who is not a player- who doesn't play games. And then when they approach you- you run for the hills. Because now the thing you have been asking for (and feeling sorry for yourself for not having) is right in front of you. Holy $#!+, what do you do now?

Be careful, because your natural defense will be to push them away. My teacher called it "hit and run." When we start to feel ourselves getting close, we start finding things wrong with them. All of a sudden, they definitely have issues. They are nice and all- but this could never work. Run away!

Your belief system, after all, tells you that you are unlovable. Belief systems (and therefore your ego) hates discrepant beliefs. Much safer to interact with people that don't like us. It reinforces and self-fulfills the belief which prevents you from having to reevaluate (change) yourself.

Plus... the last time you allowed yourself to get close to someone, you got hurt pretty bad. It messed you up for a long time. Much safer to wrangle with someone who is smooth and superficial. Then, you do not risk getting hurt again.

So how many nice people (with substance) have you pushed away?

So next time, give the nice person who likes you a chance. They are not very smooth and reserved. They make you nervous. But maybe they are worth a cup of coffee- or hanging in there with a little longer.

What does that expression say, "You better watch what you ask for- you just may get it."

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