Conceptually involved

We put things in a box so we do not have to deal with them anymore. Things like ideas, people, interactions, or God. Being present and feeling your way through each task or interaction takes a lot of energy and is messy.

Much easier to relate to the concept of the person, or situation we are interacting with- and then slam it into automatic pilot. This is highly effective on a factory assembly line when are doing the same task over and over again. Our schools and factories have taught us to systematize everything. They do not want creative thinking in the factory. But most of us don't work in a factory anymore.

And... we buy into it out of convenience. It is safe emotionally. When we're dealing with the concept of a person or creative idea, we are one-step removed. If they reject us or our idea, it does not hurt so much- we are not emotionally involved. Rather we are conceptually involved- or as some would put it in our head. You can't hurt me when I'm in my head.

So we navigate through life in automatic pilot. We rarely take the time figure out what is really going on or what is needed in a given situation. That would take work. We merely intellectually assess the situation and then apply the closest pre-fab program that we have stored in our brain. We process the task or person in front of us and send them on down the line. We never have to relate to the person or experience in front of us. We relate to the concept in our head.

So a high percentage of our interactions remain intellectual and sterile. We don't get any on us.  But we also don't feel any love, or connection. We rarely feel heard because no really listens to us. We do not get emotionally involved because that requires us to get out of our head. So our emotional needs: love, being a part of, connection, and being heard, rarely get met.

Then we wonder why so many of us are anxious and depressed. We wonder how we lost our kids. And... we wonder why we feel so alone.

It is never to late to get emotionally involved.

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