Complete experiences as you go

One of my clients is moving and wanted to know why I suggested he say goodbye to his friends. He suspected I wanted him to get in touch with his feelings. Yes, but actually the primary importance of saying goodbye is to complete the relationship. We are letting people know what they have meant to us and where they stand with us as we part ways.

At the emotional level, experiences and relationships that are incomplete drain our energy. Each incomplete experience lays dormant in our emotional reservoir trying to draw our attention to itself in order to complete itself.  If you get enough incomplete experiences clamoring for attention, it can be emotionally exhausting.

It is good practice to complete experiences and relationships as you go (I also refer to this as closure- link to previous blog). Take that little extra time to bring an interaction to completion. You are leaving it complete for now–where everyone involved (including yourself) knows where things stand. Have you ever had a friend that just seemed to disappear? You called them and they were gone. I suspect you were left with the incomplete thought of, "I wonder whatever happened to him?"

Hoka Hey is Lakota for it is a good day to die. Crazy Horse shouted this when he went into battle. This Native American philosophy is to live life in a way completes things as you go and therefore if you died today- it would be complete or good.

When everything is complete, your attention is freed up to focus on what is in front of you. This allows you to be present or mindful. You've tied up all of your loose ends and everyone knows where you stand.

So if it's a good day to die, it's a good day to live.

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