Allow feelings to come naturally

The best way to emotionally heal is to allow yourself to feel your feelings when they naturally present themselves. It is usually feast or famine when trying to heal feelings. Seems we either avoid them or force them. If you are in therapy or processing an emotional issue, all that needs to happen is to increase your awareness so you are seeing things as they are. Then the feeling will come naturally in its own time.

There is part of you that knows when you are ready to feel something. It knows better than your conscious mind (and your therapist). You might talk about and accept something and then be at the movies a week or two later and suddenly feel really sad. When it comes up, you just need to feel it. Feel it and then let it go that is. You do not need to dwell on it for days. Pure feelings pass quickly. It is only when our ego attaches to them that we stay sad or down for days on end.

Yes, grieving a serious loss takes time. But grieving such losses comes in a number of feelings that come and pass. And they will be interspersed with all kinds of other feelings- including joyous ones. There is nothing that says you have to be bummed out non-stop for 6 months after someone close to you passes or your marriage ends. This is actually counter-productive- not to mention no fun.

As well, it is best to stay active while you are feeling or grieving. You can feel and grieve things while you are working and doing things. Sitting home and obsessing on your loss or heart-break leads to reactionary feelings such as self-pity and depression- but rarely true sadness.

So: 1. See and accept things as they are. 2. Let the feeling come naturally in its own time. 3. Feel it. Express it. 4. Let it pass.

Because there is another feeling right around the corner. And it may be a happy one.

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